Spain
By Hansueli KrapfThis file was uploaded with Commonist. [CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons
If you haven’t already heard about the American woman who went missing in Turkey while on a photography vacation, then here’s a link to a recent story. As the story explains, her body was discovered and an investigation is underway. Sarai Sierra was apparently on her dream trip which originally was supposed to take place with a friend who had to cancel. Sarai decided to keep to her plans without a travel companion. Unfortunately, she ran into serious problems, bringing her once adventurous trip to an untimely end.
This story, which is being highly publicized, is, indeed, disturbing. Sarai not only left a grieving husband behind, but also two children. The story is a reminder to women everywhere that a certain level of vigilance is needed. When traveling, anywhere in the world, I would add that even men need to practice caution and care. However, does this mean that women should now be afraid to venture out on their own?
My short answer is yes and no. Women have always had to fear being caught alone and taken advantage of by an uninvited and unwelcome predator. That is an old story that dates back to ancient times and continues to be pertinent today. All women, regardless of age, have good reason to be suspicious of strangers lurking in the dark. You do not need to go to Turkey to find trouble though. It is close at hand, in your own neighborhoods and the streets of your own home country. Take caution!
Having said all of the above, I must add that as women become more and more independent in their spirits, many aspects of their daily lives may begin to change. When women take the responsibility for their own lives, they may also want more personal freedom to complement the duties. Being bread winners, raising children as a single parent and joining the armed forces are three examples of how the lives of women today are perhaps different than the lives of their mothers or grandmothers. Getting an education, pursuing a career, managing the concerns of family budgets, even the opportunity to make really good money can thrust any person, male or female, into a independent role. Independence is an aphrodisiac for many people. Once tasted, it is very difficult to go back to a dependent state of mind.
I have traveled abroad with my husband, with my sisters and by myself. All three are very satisfying. However, traveling alone has an element of freedom to it that cannot be compared to traveling with another person. For me, traveling solo provides a boost to my confidence that is quite noticeable. I came from the generation of women who were part of a massive transition in American society. Many of us had entered the work force not just as a means of expanding our horizons, but out of economic necessity. We had no idea that our paychecks would become essential to the security and continued progress of our families. While that may have placed a strain on those busy childrearing years, we garnered a lot of perks from our new responsibilities that were not as available to our mothers.
There is no way of turning the clock back now. Nor would I have it any other way. As I have accepted many responsibilities in life that may have formerly been more heavily associated with the male role, I also have come to relish my well-earned sense of independence. Traveling solo is a perk that I cannot imagine relinquishing.
However, if truth be told, I have met many women, young and old, who are not just traveling abroad but have actually chosen to live abroad. These women are not shrinking violets. San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, has been lovingly named the City of Fallen Women not because women have gone there and become sexually liberated, although that, too, may take place, but because so many older women who have expatriated to Mexico live in San Miguel and have taken a tumble or two on the slippery cobblestone streets. I’ve no doubt that these independent, fearless gals have managed to establish a rewarding lifestyle in the highlands of Mexico and most have no intentions of returning to the United States. There is just too much evidence to support that women of all ages can and do embrace the privileges of freedom in their lives without regrets and without caving into dire predictions often made by well-meaning loved ones and friends back home.
Bad things do continue to happen to good people, even cautious people. Yet, for many of us, after we have exercised a reasonable amount of care no matter where we are living or vacationing, the fear associated with all of the “what ifs” in life does not outweigh the fear of growing old while saying “I could’ve, would’ve and should’ve”. You only get to live once and doing what you love to do should never be traded for a false sense of security. RIP Sarai Sierra
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